“Homewhat? Brew, as in beer?!” That’s what a lot of guys say when they hear you can make beer. At home. And without a ton of equipment, money, and expertise. The second question is usually “you can do that?” or “but is it any good?”. The answer to both is yes. Most definitely, yes!
Alright, I know what you’re thinking:
“How long does it take?”
“How much does it cost?”
“Is it cheaper than [insert national macro or frat-boy beer]?”
“What if it sucks?”
“But it’s faster to hit the quickie mart.”
“I’m sure that’s not legal….”
All in good time, young beer geek. All in good time. First the molecular biology, chemistry, and other hard science you’ll soon be practicing without knowing it … err, actually, nevermind all that thinking. Read on for the answers to the questions above and many other pressing matters.
Ready? 2 weeks to 1 year. About $20 to $50. No. It happens (you try to drink it anyway, give up after half a beer, dump it, and try again. Rest assured though: keep your gear clean, protect your beer, and use good ingredients and you’ll have great results). Yep. Nope, you’re wrong, thanks to legislation signed by Jimmy Carter in 1978 (Google is your friend! Want more history? Look up topics like how many breweries there were before and after prohibition, and how the Temperance movement affected land deeds.).
Why the wide variance? That’s where the beauty is! You pick. Everything. Want it cheaper? Fine, make it that way. Want 12% alcohol? Done. Want chili beer? Do it! Wanna replicate Guinness, or any other commercial beer? It can be done. Wanna make green beer for St. Patty’s? Cool, go for it. Wanna blow away your friends, family, and neighbors with amazing libational creativity? Done and done.
It’s all up to you. You get to pick how to make it, what goes in it, what it looks like, what it tastes like, how it smells, how strong it is, how long it takes, whatever. Here’s the basic, 11-step process:
Put your milled, malted barley* in a grain sock*, submerge the sock in a gallon or so of water, heat to about 170℉, and leave there to cook for ½ hour.
Turn off the heat, pull out the grain and put it in a colander or strainer*, rinse it with a couple quarts or so of about 180℉ water.
Stir in your malt extract*.
Turn on the heat, boil for 60 minutes, adding hops accordingly*. This is your wort (pronounce wert)
Remove from heat, let cool to 70-80℉.
Pour the wort into a fermentation vessel* and add the yeast*. Seal the fermenter with an air lock*.
Wait for the yeast to finish eating the sugars and producing alcohol. This takes about a week but can be faster or slower depending on how ‘big’ your beer is going to be (more sugars = more alcohol = more time for the yeast to work).
Bottle* the beer.
Let it age for 10 days (more for bigger beers).
Drink!
Share with previously mentioned friends, neighbors, and family.
Bathe in accolades for your major libational aptitude!
*But where do you get the ingredients and equipment? Main Street Homebrew in Hillsboro (yes, on Main Street) where you’ll find a couple incredibly knowledgeable, helpful, friendly guys that’ll do everything from sell you a starter kit, build you a recipe on the fly, point you to all the ingredients you’ll need, walk you through the process, and even answer the inevitable questions, like “is it supposed to do this???” and “I don’t understand how to use the yeast.” Many, many a brew have been saved by the brew-hero-dynamic-duo at Main Street!
Special shout out to
Randy Esser, self-described beer geek, homebrewer of 6 years, and maker of such fine ales as 9% scotch, 9% IPA, 8% alt, 4-8% coffee/chocolate/oatmeal stouts, Tabitha’s Hefeweizen, Belgian ale, and others.
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